John Piper on 1st Corinthians 7:3-5:
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
The leadership of the husband is defined by Paul not mainly as demanding his rights but as laying down his life for the good of his wife (Ephesians 5:25). Therefore, the predominant resolution of the sexual paradox is that the husband gently and tenderly takes the lead in seeking to maximize his wife’s pleasure, taking her longings deeply into account, rather than pressuring her to adapt to his.
The practical application of 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 is not resolved by logic or taking turns or male dominance or female submission. It is resolved in the mystery of love that discovers even here, when our physical pleasure is more prominent than anywhere else, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). There is a holy and humble and self-sacrificing competition to make the other maximally glad. The logical stalemate is broken by the miracle of grace: With God all things are possible.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"Manhood vs. Womanhood" or "Manhood and Womanhood"
The following article from John Piper struck home with me as I finished reading a series in Newsweek attempting to use the Bible to justify the case for gay marriage. The link to one of the articles is here. What amazed me is that while the author of the article, Lisa Miller, at least mentioned the religious reasons against homosexuality, she does nothing to prove them wrong. In fact, while mentioning the verse in Genesis stating "for this reason a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife", she refuses to even address the gender so clearly implied by "man" and "wife". How can it get more clear than this?
Anyway, here is John Piper's article...
Pursue Mature Manhood and Womanhood
December 11, 2008
By John Piper
I took a few days recently to put my sermons on Ruth into a small book that may be called A Sweet and Bitter Providence. One of the spillovers from that effort was a renewed sense of how much we need great stories that embody great truths.
Ruth and Boaz is a great love story. When a story is permeated with God and his vision of life, we get to watch truth happen. The beauty of truth is not explained to us. It is lived before us.
God’s truth concerning manhood and womanhood is beautiful. Most of us are so sinful that we don’t model it well. So we need teaching and we need storytelling. And we need Christ to forgive us and renew us and send us back again and again into this truth. He is faithful. Ruth’s story is a special gift to us this Christmas. It has so many levels of meaning. Manhood and womanhood is not the only one. But it is one.
The rest of this article is an excerpt from the conclusion of A Sweet and Bitter Providence.
The egalitarian impulses of the last thirty years have not made us better men and women. In fact, they have confused millions. What average man or woman today could answer a little boy’s question: “Daddy, what does it mean to grow up and be a man and not a woman?” Or a little girl’s question: “Mommy, what does it mean to grow up and be a woman and not a man?”
Who could answer these questions without diminishing manhood and womanhood into mere biological mechanisms? Who could articulate the profound meanings of manhood and womanhood woven differently into a common personhood created differently and equally in the image of God? James Dobson puts it like this: “At the heart . . . is the issue of what is a man? If you try to reduce that issue to just: what is a caring person, you make a good point but miss a crucial created element called manhood that is relevant.”1 Not asking the question about the essence of male and female personhood confuses everyone—especially the children.
And this confusion hurts people. It is not a small thing. Its effects are vast. I agree with Dobson when he says, “Feminist resistance to making manhood and womanhood significant in behavior and role determination is partner to some of the most painful social and spiritual issues of our day.”2
When manhood and womanhood are confused at home, the consequences are deeper than may show up in a generation. There are dynamics in the home that direct the sexual preferences of the children and shape their concept of manhood and womanhood. Especially crucial in the matter of sexual preference is a father’s firm and loving affirmation of a son’s masculinity and a daughter’s femininity.3 The father must be a man. But how can this kind of manly affirmation be cultivated in an atmosphere where role differences between masculinity and femininity are constantly denied or diminished for the sake of gender-leveling and sex-blindness?
What we all need is solid teaching from the Bible about the differences God intends between men and women.4 But we also need stories. Great stories. We need to see manhood and womanhood in action—in real life and fiction and history. The story of Ruth and Boaz is the kind of story that can awaken and feed the masculine and feminine soul in ways that we cannot articulate.
I encourage you to be like a dolphin in the sea of our egalitarian, gender-leveling culture. Don’t be like a jellyfish. The ocean of secularism that we swim in (including much of the church) drifts toward minimizing serious differences between manhood and womanhood. The culture swings back and forth as to whether women are mainly sex objects or senior vice presidents. But rarely does it ponder the biblical vision that men are called to humbly lead and protect and provide, and women are called to come in alongside with their unique gifts and strengths and help the men carry through the vision.
I pray that you will be stirred up by Ruth and Boaz to pursue mature manhood and womanhood. More is at stake than we know. God has made marriage the showcase of his covenant love where the husband models Christ and the wife models the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
1 Focus on the Family, May, 1993, vol. 17, No. 5, p. 7. Final italics original.
2 Ibid.
3 Gerald P. Regier, “The Not-So-Disposable Family,” Pastoral Renewal, Vol. 13, No. 1, July-August, 1988, p. 20.
4 I have tried to think this through in a small way in What’s the Difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 1990). See also, John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 1991), and Wayne Grudem, Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Press, 2004). See also www.cbmw.org.
Anyway, here is John Piper's article...
Pursue Mature Manhood and Womanhood
December 11, 2008
By John Piper
I took a few days recently to put my sermons on Ruth into a small book that may be called A Sweet and Bitter Providence. One of the spillovers from that effort was a renewed sense of how much we need great stories that embody great truths.
Ruth and Boaz is a great love story. When a story is permeated with God and his vision of life, we get to watch truth happen. The beauty of truth is not explained to us. It is lived before us.
God’s truth concerning manhood and womanhood is beautiful. Most of us are so sinful that we don’t model it well. So we need teaching and we need storytelling. And we need Christ to forgive us and renew us and send us back again and again into this truth. He is faithful. Ruth’s story is a special gift to us this Christmas. It has so many levels of meaning. Manhood and womanhood is not the only one. But it is one.
The rest of this article is an excerpt from the conclusion of A Sweet and Bitter Providence.
The egalitarian impulses of the last thirty years have not made us better men and women. In fact, they have confused millions. What average man or woman today could answer a little boy’s question: “Daddy, what does it mean to grow up and be a man and not a woman?” Or a little girl’s question: “Mommy, what does it mean to grow up and be a woman and not a man?”
Who could answer these questions without diminishing manhood and womanhood into mere biological mechanisms? Who could articulate the profound meanings of manhood and womanhood woven differently into a common personhood created differently and equally in the image of God? James Dobson puts it like this: “At the heart . . . is the issue of what is a man? If you try to reduce that issue to just: what is a caring person, you make a good point but miss a crucial created element called manhood that is relevant.”1 Not asking the question about the essence of male and female personhood confuses everyone—especially the children.
And this confusion hurts people. It is not a small thing. Its effects are vast. I agree with Dobson when he says, “Feminist resistance to making manhood and womanhood significant in behavior and role determination is partner to some of the most painful social and spiritual issues of our day.”2
When manhood and womanhood are confused at home, the consequences are deeper than may show up in a generation. There are dynamics in the home that direct the sexual preferences of the children and shape their concept of manhood and womanhood. Especially crucial in the matter of sexual preference is a father’s firm and loving affirmation of a son’s masculinity and a daughter’s femininity.3 The father must be a man. But how can this kind of manly affirmation be cultivated in an atmosphere where role differences between masculinity and femininity are constantly denied or diminished for the sake of gender-leveling and sex-blindness?
What we all need is solid teaching from the Bible about the differences God intends between men and women.4 But we also need stories. Great stories. We need to see manhood and womanhood in action—in real life and fiction and history. The story of Ruth and Boaz is the kind of story that can awaken and feed the masculine and feminine soul in ways that we cannot articulate.
I encourage you to be like a dolphin in the sea of our egalitarian, gender-leveling culture. Don’t be like a jellyfish. The ocean of secularism that we swim in (including much of the church) drifts toward minimizing serious differences between manhood and womanhood. The culture swings back and forth as to whether women are mainly sex objects or senior vice presidents. But rarely does it ponder the biblical vision that men are called to humbly lead and protect and provide, and women are called to come in alongside with their unique gifts and strengths and help the men carry through the vision.
I pray that you will be stirred up by Ruth and Boaz to pursue mature manhood and womanhood. More is at stake than we know. God has made marriage the showcase of his covenant love where the husband models Christ and the wife models the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
1 Focus on the Family, May, 1993, vol. 17, No. 5, p. 7. Final italics original.
2 Ibid.
3 Gerald P. Regier, “The Not-So-Disposable Family,” Pastoral Renewal, Vol. 13, No. 1, July-August, 1988, p. 20.
4 I have tried to think this through in a small way in What’s the Difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 1990). See also, John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 1991), and Wayne Grudem, Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth (Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Press, 2004). See also www.cbmw.org.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Phillipians 2:4
This is from a recent sermon from John Piper, and reflects my attitude in treating patients, as well as something I aspire as I walk through my life...
Our Relational Culture
I return today to this issue of the relational culture of our church—a kind of relational atmosphere where God may be pleased to give us wisdom for our personal priorities and our families and our citizenship in ways that are God-glorifying, Christ-exalting, gospel-fashioned, people-helping.
I invite you to turn with me to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, chapter 2. It’s stated most clearly in verse 4, and then it is illustrated in the lives of Jesus, Paul, Timothy, and Epaphroditus. I don’t mean incidentally illustrated; I mean that Paul intentionally illustrates verse 4 by bringing in Jesus, himself, Timothy, and Epaphroditus the way he does. So that is what we will do. We will take note of verse 4, and then look at four ways that it is lived out in four different people’s lives in Philippians 2. My prayer is that you will join me in making this your prayer: “Lord, work so deeply in my heart that I am freed from the bondage of self-centeredness and given the disposition to look not only to my own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Looking Out for Others’ Interests
Look at verse 4: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” The word interests is a filler. In the original, it’s open-ended. All that is specified is “your own (something)” or “the other’s (something).” So it could be, “Let each of you look not only to your own financial affairs, or your own property, or your own family, or your own health, or your own reputation, or your own education, or your own success, or your own happiness—don’t just think about that, don’t just have desires about that, don’t just strategize about that, don’t just work toward that; but look to the financial affairs and property and family and health, and reputation, and education, and success, and happiness of others.”
In other words, verse 4 is a way of saying the words of Jesus, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Matthew 22:39). That is, make the good of others the focus of your interest and strategy and work. Find your joy in making others joyful. If you are watching television and your child says, Would you play with me? don’t just think about how tired you are. By an act of gospel-fashioned, Christ-exalting will, put the child’s interests before the pleasures of your relaxation.
Counting Others as More Significant
One of the keys to this radical way of living is in the second half of verse 3: “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Or as the old King James says, “Let each esteem others better than themselves.” The point was not what others are. The point is what you count others to be.
The focus is: Will you count them as worthy of your help and encouragement? Not are they worthy? But will you count them as worthy? Will I take thought not just for my interests but for someone elses? Will I encourage him or her and take the time to help and build him or her up?
Humility and Its Source—The Cross
And where does that other-oriented commitment come from? Verse 3 says, “In humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It comes from humility. Literally: “lowliness.” This is the great opposite of a sense of entitlement. Humility is the opposite of “You owe me.” Paul said, “I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish” (Romans 1:14). In other words, they didn’t owe him. He owed them.
Why? Why do Christians walk through life feeling a humble sense that we owe service to people, rather than them owing us?
The answer is that Christ loved us and died for us and forgave us and accepted us and justified us and gave us eternal life and made us heirs of the world when he owed us nothing. He treated us as worthy of his service, when we were not worthy of his service. He took thought not only for his own interests but for ours. He counted us as greater than himself: “Who is the greater,” he said, “one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves” (Luke 22:27).
That is where our humility comes from. We feel overwhelmed by God’s grace: bygone grace in the cross and moment-by-moment arriving grace promised for our everlasting future. Christians are stunned into lowliness. Freely you have been served, freely serve.
So the crucial relational mark of the culture of our church should be Philippians 2:4: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” This is the “mind” or the “mindset” that we should have in life together. This is the relational atmosphere where God will grant wisdom for the perplexing work of living in this world.
Our Relational Culture
I return today to this issue of the relational culture of our church—a kind of relational atmosphere where God may be pleased to give us wisdom for our personal priorities and our families and our citizenship in ways that are God-glorifying, Christ-exalting, gospel-fashioned, people-helping.
I invite you to turn with me to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, chapter 2. It’s stated most clearly in verse 4, and then it is illustrated in the lives of Jesus, Paul, Timothy, and Epaphroditus. I don’t mean incidentally illustrated; I mean that Paul intentionally illustrates verse 4 by bringing in Jesus, himself, Timothy, and Epaphroditus the way he does. So that is what we will do. We will take note of verse 4, and then look at four ways that it is lived out in four different people’s lives in Philippians 2. My prayer is that you will join me in making this your prayer: “Lord, work so deeply in my heart that I am freed from the bondage of self-centeredness and given the disposition to look not only to my own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Looking Out for Others’ Interests
Look at verse 4: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” The word interests is a filler. In the original, it’s open-ended. All that is specified is “your own (something)” or “the other’s (something).” So it could be, “Let each of you look not only to your own financial affairs, or your own property, or your own family, or your own health, or your own reputation, or your own education, or your own success, or your own happiness—don’t just think about that, don’t just have desires about that, don’t just strategize about that, don’t just work toward that; but look to the financial affairs and property and family and health, and reputation, and education, and success, and happiness of others.”
In other words, verse 4 is a way of saying the words of Jesus, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Matthew 22:39). That is, make the good of others the focus of your interest and strategy and work. Find your joy in making others joyful. If you are watching television and your child says, Would you play with me? don’t just think about how tired you are. By an act of gospel-fashioned, Christ-exalting will, put the child’s interests before the pleasures of your relaxation.
Counting Others as More Significant
One of the keys to this radical way of living is in the second half of verse 3: “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Or as the old King James says, “Let each esteem others better than themselves.” The point was not what others are. The point is what you count others to be.
The focus is: Will you count them as worthy of your help and encouragement? Not are they worthy? But will you count them as worthy? Will I take thought not just for my interests but for someone elses? Will I encourage him or her and take the time to help and build him or her up?
Humility and Its Source—The Cross
And where does that other-oriented commitment come from? Verse 3 says, “In humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It comes from humility. Literally: “lowliness.” This is the great opposite of a sense of entitlement. Humility is the opposite of “You owe me.” Paul said, “I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish” (Romans 1:14). In other words, they didn’t owe him. He owed them.
Why? Why do Christians walk through life feeling a humble sense that we owe service to people, rather than them owing us?
The answer is that Christ loved us and died for us and forgave us and accepted us and justified us and gave us eternal life and made us heirs of the world when he owed us nothing. He treated us as worthy of his service, when we were not worthy of his service. He took thought not only for his own interests but for ours. He counted us as greater than himself: “Who is the greater,” he said, “one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves” (Luke 22:27).
That is where our humility comes from. We feel overwhelmed by God’s grace: bygone grace in the cross and moment-by-moment arriving grace promised for our everlasting future. Christians are stunned into lowliness. Freely you have been served, freely serve.
So the crucial relational mark of the culture of our church should be Philippians 2:4: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” This is the “mind” or the “mindset” that we should have in life together. This is the relational atmosphere where God will grant wisdom for the perplexing work of living in this world.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Gay rights and Larry King
I just finished reading a very sad story in this weeks' Newsweek on a junior high boy who was shot point blank by another student in Oxnard, California. Larry King was a teenager who had determined that he was gay, or at least bisexual, and was wearing woman's clothing- he had an affinity for shoes- as well as wearing makeup and lipstick to school. His behavior had caused disruptions around the school- kids made fun of him both in and out of classes, he made garish statements both in and out of classrooms to students and staff, and even had to be moved to another school.
Before Valentine's Day 2008 he and a group of his girlfriends were playing the typical teenage game of truth or dare, only this time the dare was to identify one that each had a crush on, and walk up to that person on the playground as ask them to be their Valentine. He strode up to Brandon McInerney, someone he reportedly had stated he liked before, while Brandon was playing basketball with his friends, and asked him to be his Valentine. Brandon had previously dealt with Larry and made it clear he was not gay, but was immediately teased by his friends, clearly causing him to be upset.
Shortly afterwards, Brandon was heard by one of Larry's friends in the hallways at school saying "You'd better say goodbye to Larry, he won't be around much longer." Two days later in English class, Brandon gets out of his seat behind Larry, pulls out a handgun he smuggled into class, and shoots Larry twice in the head before walking out of class. He was apprehended shortly thereafter. Larry died in the hospital two days after that, suffering a massive stroke.
Now, I remember junior high being very difficult, for this is when everyone is trying to find out their identity and who they are. I was bullied oftentimes, and until I stood up to the biggest bully, I was subject to constant punching, pinching, and kicking, all of which were done behind a teacher's back so the bully was never caught. I remember slamming Gary into the wall in the locker room after being physically bullied once again, telling him to "Stop, or else", before I was able to bring it under control. Fortunately I grew about 6 inches and soon was much taller than he was, so my threat finally had some teeth.
But what about Brandon? Surely there is no excuse for his act. I don't care how bad the bullying, there is no excuse for the taking of one's life. But can you imagine the psychological toll this took on him? The questions that went through his head about his own sexuality, something he may have not been ready to deal with developmentally? What about the obvious anger that it created? While the turmoil has been made of Brandon's shooting of Larry, how was Brandon supposed to tolerate the harassment Larry was subjecting him to? I don't remember from my days in junior high of having much logic, sensitivity, and empathy such that I could have pulled Larry aside and say, "Look here, what you are doing is making me uncomfortable, and I do not like it, please stop." The thought of that adult-like response, though clearly morally acceptable and honorable, is asinine for a 14 year old. Plus, there clearly is not a way to object without being called a homophile, bigot, or closed minded, regardless of how it was handled. If he would have struck him, it would have been viewed the same way- though not to the same degree- as violence against a homosexual.
Here is my point- there was a staff email that was sent out about allowing a "student who has chosen to express his alternative sexuality" to do so unless it caused a disruption in the classroom. Why was he not brought in to explain that expressing his sexuality in his ostentatious way may not be the best for the school, both for students who were not ready to handle this big step into adolescence and for teachers who have to control these hormone crazy children everyday. I know kids are sent home for wearing clothing that is deemed "disruptive" for being the wrong color, so why was he allowed to wear stiletto heels or pink boots or makeup at school? Have we become so fearful of what the gay community calls "acceptance", especially in light of California's recent approval of gay marriage, that doing the right thing by controlling his outward display of sexuality would be considered discrimination? I can bet that if it was a girl who developed her breasts at a young age and was wearing outfits clearly displaying her cleavage she would have been forced to change.
But not Larry. And now he is dead.
Before Valentine's Day 2008 he and a group of his girlfriends were playing the typical teenage game of truth or dare, only this time the dare was to identify one that each had a crush on, and walk up to that person on the playground as ask them to be their Valentine. He strode up to Brandon McInerney, someone he reportedly had stated he liked before, while Brandon was playing basketball with his friends, and asked him to be his Valentine. Brandon had previously dealt with Larry and made it clear he was not gay, but was immediately teased by his friends, clearly causing him to be upset.
Shortly afterwards, Brandon was heard by one of Larry's friends in the hallways at school saying "You'd better say goodbye to Larry, he won't be around much longer." Two days later in English class, Brandon gets out of his seat behind Larry, pulls out a handgun he smuggled into class, and shoots Larry twice in the head before walking out of class. He was apprehended shortly thereafter. Larry died in the hospital two days after that, suffering a massive stroke.
Now, I remember junior high being very difficult, for this is when everyone is trying to find out their identity and who they are. I was bullied oftentimes, and until I stood up to the biggest bully, I was subject to constant punching, pinching, and kicking, all of which were done behind a teacher's back so the bully was never caught. I remember slamming Gary into the wall in the locker room after being physically bullied once again, telling him to "Stop, or else", before I was able to bring it under control. Fortunately I grew about 6 inches and soon was much taller than he was, so my threat finally had some teeth.
But what about Brandon? Surely there is no excuse for his act. I don't care how bad the bullying, there is no excuse for the taking of one's life. But can you imagine the psychological toll this took on him? The questions that went through his head about his own sexuality, something he may have not been ready to deal with developmentally? What about the obvious anger that it created? While the turmoil has been made of Brandon's shooting of Larry, how was Brandon supposed to tolerate the harassment Larry was subjecting him to? I don't remember from my days in junior high of having much logic, sensitivity, and empathy such that I could have pulled Larry aside and say, "Look here, what you are doing is making me uncomfortable, and I do not like it, please stop." The thought of that adult-like response, though clearly morally acceptable and honorable, is asinine for a 14 year old. Plus, there clearly is not a way to object without being called a homophile, bigot, or closed minded, regardless of how it was handled. If he would have struck him, it would have been viewed the same way- though not to the same degree- as violence against a homosexual.
Here is my point- there was a staff email that was sent out about allowing a "student who has chosen to express his alternative sexuality" to do so unless it caused a disruption in the classroom. Why was he not brought in to explain that expressing his sexuality in his ostentatious way may not be the best for the school, both for students who were not ready to handle this big step into adolescence and for teachers who have to control these hormone crazy children everyday. I know kids are sent home for wearing clothing that is deemed "disruptive" for being the wrong color, so why was he allowed to wear stiletto heels or pink boots or makeup at school? Have we become so fearful of what the gay community calls "acceptance", especially in light of California's recent approval of gay marriage, that doing the right thing by controlling his outward display of sexuality would be considered discrimination? I can bet that if it was a girl who developed her breasts at a young age and was wearing outfits clearly displaying her cleavage she would have been forced to change.
But not Larry. And now he is dead.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
I will never drive on hills without thinking of my son...
My oldest, 6 year old Daniel, who experienced his first rollercoaster ride a few weeks ago at Dollywood, told me how he liked the "belly-ment" when I was driving over a unpaved, hilly, dirt road this evening to our small group meeting. He was speaking of how riding fast with sudden up and down changes of direction- either on a rollercoaster or up and down hills in a car- sometimes makes your stomach lurch. You knowwhat, I like the "belly-ment" too!
How it gets harder to be entertained the older we get...
From British journalist and brilliant writer G.K. Chesterton:
“When we are very young children we do not need fairy tales: we only need tales. Mere life is interesting enough. A child of seven is excited by being told that Tommy opened the door and saw a dragon. But a child of three is excited by being told that Tommy opened a door.”
From page 47 of his book Orthodoxy.
“When we are very young children we do not need fairy tales: we only need tales. Mere life is interesting enough. A child of seven is excited by being told that Tommy opened the door and saw a dragon. But a child of three is excited by being told that Tommy opened a door.”
From page 47 of his book Orthodoxy.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Wise Words For Kiddos
Another John Piper post titled "Let No One Despise You For Your Youth". It has reminded me that kind of father I need to be to my children in these current times...
This is one of Paul’s words to the younger Timothy who needed to be reminded that his expectation for what he could be were too low. I will begin with this verse, make a few comments about it and then step back and try to get the bigger biblical picture. Paul says, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
Four brief observations:
1. Youth Can Be Despised
Youth are often looked down on because of attitudes and behaviors that are annoying or immature. Some of the things people often associate with youth are disrespect, rebellion, self-absorption, cliquishness, conformity to peer pressure, indifference to serious issues, and a fixation on fun as the only thing that satisfies. If these are pronounced, people can even despise youth. Paul implies that in saying, “Let no one despise your youth.”
2. Youth Should Not Be Indifferent to What Adults Think
Paul is telling Timothy to do what he can as a young man to keep that despising from happening. Don’t be indifferent to what older people think. Care about it. Take steps to win their approval. “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
3. Youth Should Not See Adult Opinions As Supreme
But the way he tells Timothy to overcome being despised is not to adjust to their attitudes. He does not say, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but find out what they want and act that way.” Peaceful relationships between older and younger is not of supreme value. Adaptation to older people is not the point. He does not absolutize adult expectations. He does something very different.
4. Youth Should Look to Ultimately God’s Standards
Paul says, The way I want youth to pursue not being despised is look to God’s standards of love and faith and purity. In that way, even young people can become examples to older people. “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
The point is not: Find out what older people want and give it to them so they don’t despise you.
The point is: Find out what kind of words and conduct God wants and do that. He gives love and faith and purity as examples of what we should do in our words and conduct. Let all your words and actions come from faith in Christ. Let them be loving. And keep yourselves sexually pure.
Now that may make some adults despise you. If you stand up at school for the way of sexual abstinence before marriage, there will be adults that despise you. But you will be right, as well as the adults who really matter, and God himself will not despise you.
So Paul’s main point is that Timothy should not have low expectations of the impact of his life toward those who are older. He should look to God, believe in the gospel, do what God calls him to do, and in that way become an example to the rest.
Don’t Adapt to Low Expectations
How many of our young people think that way: I am called to set an example for the adults. Of course, adults are supposed to set an example for young people. But here it’s the other way around. That calls for a dramatic shift in mindset for most adults and youth today: Don’t adapt to the low cultural expectations for youth. Set high ones. Youth can become examples for adults. Think that way. Dream that way. Or as the Harris brothers would say, “Rebel against low expectations.”
A Biblical Portrait of Youth’s Perils and Possibilities
Now step back with me to get a larger biblical picture of the perils and possibilities of youth. Let’s move in order from original sin to a bold life of God-centered gospel-obedience beyond all low expectations.
1. Born in Sin
First, sin. Every child is born with the corruption and guilt of Adam’s sin. “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me” (Psalms 51:5). That was David’s cry after his adultery with Bathsheba. He accepted responsibility, but he traced his corruption all the way back to conception and birth.
So it is with every child from Adam. And even after God started over, so to speak, after the flood. God said to Noah that he would not bring another flood like that, but it was not because the heart of man was now cured. Instead he said, “For the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Genesis 8:21). Nothing had changed in the human heart. Not to this day.
So it became a proverb: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child” (Proverbs 22:15). That is the first thing we need to know about all of our children. They are sinners in need of salvation. They don’t just do bad things, they have bad natures, bad hearts. They need to be born again. That which is born of the flesh is flesh. They have all been born of the flesh. Now they need to be born of the Spirit (John 3:6).
2. In Need of the Gospel
Second, children must therefore be taught the truth about God and about Christ and about the gospel. God is the decisive teacher concerning himself, but he uses people, especially parents. “O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds” (Psalms 71:17). We pray that God would begin to teach our children from the earliest age in ways that only he knows how.
But he has told us the ordinary way that a child will come to know and trust Christ. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The discipline and instruction of the Lord is not simply moral demands followed by rewards and punishments. That would not be “of the Lord.” The Lord is the Lord who died for the child’s sins and rose again and pours out his Spirit to help us. Dad and Mom bring their children up in this gospel-saturated instruction. The grace of God in the gospel becomes the rule and the power by which a child lives. We will come back to this.
3. Born Again in Jesus
Third, a child is born again and comes to faith in Jesus as the Savior and Lord and Treasure of their lives. “You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth” (Psalms 71:5). The Psalmist says that God has been his trust, his confidence, from his youth. God gave him new life, and he saw Christ as true and precious. That may mean he never remembers a time when he did not trust the Lord.
That would certainly be true for me. My mother told me how I came to a point at age six of wanting to receive Christ as my Savior and how I prayed at her bedside on vacation in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. But I have no memory of this—or much else in my childhood for that matter. I would say with the psalmist, “You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.” My confidence that I am born again does not rest in being able to remember the point when it happened, but in his finished work on the cross and in the relationship I have with the Lord now.
So after the reality of original sin, and then the teaching of the truth of the gospel, and then faith there comes now the forgiveness of sins.
4. Forgiven Through Faith in the Gospel
Fourth, original sin and all our sinful choices that follow from it will be forgiven through this faith that God awakens through the knowledge of the gospel. David embraces this truth in Psalm 25:7: “Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!”
This is good news at every age. We may tell our frightened eight-year-olds whose consciences are terrifying them, that the sins of their youth and their transgressions against Mommy and Daddy’s word may be forgiven. Peter says in Acts 10:43, “Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” Children must come to love this precious good news that makes them very thankful to God.
5. Given Suffering and Trials As God’s Own Children
Fifth, now that a child is born again and holding fast to Jesus as Savior and Lord and Treasure of their lives, God treats them as his own children. That means he gives them trials and afflictions to purify the heart and to make their faith strong and mature. “The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. . . . If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons” (Hebrews 12:6-8). One of the psalmists cried, “Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors; I am helpless” (Psalms 88:15).
We must teach our children a strong doctrine of suffering and affliction and how the Lord disciplines. We want to hear them say someday what the old man Samuel says to God: “I have walked before you from my youth until this day” (1 Samuel 12:2). And what Obadiah the prophet says: “I your servant have feared the Lord from my youth” (1 Kings 18:12). The Lord is loving our children in their trials. We must teach them how to understand the hard things that happen to them.
6. Brought to Biblical Maturity
Sixth—after sin, teaching the gospel, faith, forgiveness, and trials—it becomes plain therefore that in the Bible children, from the time they come to faith, are being treated by God in a way that can lead them to remarkable maturity and usefulness earlier than most of us think. Here are a few clues that this is the case.
David prays like this for his children and our children: “May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown” (Psalms 144:12). What does he mean, “May our sons already in their youth be like plants full grown”? He’s praying that the strength and fruitfulness of the more mature plant will already show itself in his sons even while they are young and the expectations for such fruitfulness is low. Should that not be our prayer all the more: “May our sons and daughters in their youth be like plants full grown”?
And the entire book of Proverbs is designed to help this early fruitfulness happen. The book begins like this: “The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel . . . to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth” (Proverbs 1:1, 4). The Bible does not believe that wisdom is only for the aged. Wisdom comes from God’s word mainly and from life-experience secondarily. Therefore, we should work and pray to help our children have wisdom and discretion.
Or consider Ecclesiastes 4:13: “Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.” Better a wise youth than a foolish king! Think of that. Here is a poor lad badly clothed, and here is a rich king in fine robes. And the Bible says that this lad may be wiser than that king. How can that be? Because wisdom comes from God through his word. That is why parenting and church curriculum should be saturated with the Scriptures, so that someday our youth will hear the folly of old unbiblical men, and not be swept away. They will be like Elihu in Job 32:6-10 when he answers Job’s friends, I am young in years, and you are aged; therefore I was timid and afraid to declare my opinion to you. I said, “Let days speak, and many years teach wisdom.” But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand. It is not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right.” (Job 32:6-10)
7. Not Settling for Low Expectations
Seventh, this brings us to the practical conclusion for young people: Don’t let the culture set low expectations for what you may accomplish for Christ. Listen to the way God and Jeremiah argue about Jeremiah’s call when he was young.
Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak.” (Jeremiah 1:6-7)
Be careful young people that you don’t postpone the burden and the blessing of fruitfulness in your life because you use the excuse, “I am only a youth.” God said to Jeremiah, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go.” There are some younger than you that you can lead, and there are some older than you that you can serve. But do not say, “I am only a youth,” as though the only thing you are good for is watching videos and playing games, as though there is no ministry for you to do.
8. Successful Parenting Is Gospel-Saturated
Finally, eighth, a closing word to parents and all who love children. We do not want to hear our children say when they are thirty what the rich young ruler said to Jesus after Jesus listed the commandments, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” Here is the great commandment keeper. Here is the compliant kid who did what he was told. He kept the commandments.
But when Jesus put him to the test and said he lacked one thing: “Sell what you have, give it to the poor, and follow me” (Mark 10:21), he couldn’t do it. He had no heart for Christ. Rule-keeping? Yes. Treasuring Jesus? No. He was dead. He had no affections for Christ. He was simply a good rule-keeper. And he said that it goes all the way back to his youth: “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” His parents said do, and he did.
The Shaping and Sustaining Power of the Gospel
Parents, successful parenting is more than compliant kids. It is gospel-saturated living and teaching. Show your children how Christ, crucified for our sins, and Christ, raised for our justification, and Christ, showing the Father’s love, and Christ, guaranteeing the Spirit’s daily help—show them how this gospel is not just something that begins the Christian life but empowers it and shapes and sustains it. Pray and love and teach your children until Christ breaks in on their hearts and becomes their Treasure.
May God give us a vision for the next generation that glorifies the gospel of Christ, and leads thousands of young people to the cross where they find forgiveness of sins, and broken-hearted humility, and Christ-exalting courage to rebel against low expectations and “do hard things.”
1 Timothy 4:11-16
Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.
Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.
This is one of Paul’s words to the younger Timothy who needed to be reminded that his expectation for what he could be were too low. I will begin with this verse, make a few comments about it and then step back and try to get the bigger biblical picture. Paul says, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
Four brief observations:
1. Youth Can Be Despised
Youth are often looked down on because of attitudes and behaviors that are annoying or immature. Some of the things people often associate with youth are disrespect, rebellion, self-absorption, cliquishness, conformity to peer pressure, indifference to serious issues, and a fixation on fun as the only thing that satisfies. If these are pronounced, people can even despise youth. Paul implies that in saying, “Let no one despise your youth.”
2. Youth Should Not Be Indifferent to What Adults Think
Paul is telling Timothy to do what he can as a young man to keep that despising from happening. Don’t be indifferent to what older people think. Care about it. Take steps to win their approval. “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
3. Youth Should Not See Adult Opinions As Supreme
But the way he tells Timothy to overcome being despised is not to adjust to their attitudes. He does not say, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but find out what they want and act that way.” Peaceful relationships between older and younger is not of supreme value. Adaptation to older people is not the point. He does not absolutize adult expectations. He does something very different.
4. Youth Should Look to Ultimately God’s Standards
Paul says, The way I want youth to pursue not being despised is look to God’s standards of love and faith and purity. In that way, even young people can become examples to older people. “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
The point is not: Find out what older people want and give it to them so they don’t despise you.
The point is: Find out what kind of words and conduct God wants and do that. He gives love and faith and purity as examples of what we should do in our words and conduct. Let all your words and actions come from faith in Christ. Let them be loving. And keep yourselves sexually pure.
Now that may make some adults despise you. If you stand up at school for the way of sexual abstinence before marriage, there will be adults that despise you. But you will be right, as well as the adults who really matter, and God himself will not despise you.
So Paul’s main point is that Timothy should not have low expectations of the impact of his life toward those who are older. He should look to God, believe in the gospel, do what God calls him to do, and in that way become an example to the rest.
Don’t Adapt to Low Expectations
How many of our young people think that way: I am called to set an example for the adults. Of course, adults are supposed to set an example for young people. But here it’s the other way around. That calls for a dramatic shift in mindset for most adults and youth today: Don’t adapt to the low cultural expectations for youth. Set high ones. Youth can become examples for adults. Think that way. Dream that way. Or as the Harris brothers would say, “Rebel against low expectations.”
A Biblical Portrait of Youth’s Perils and Possibilities
Now step back with me to get a larger biblical picture of the perils and possibilities of youth. Let’s move in order from original sin to a bold life of God-centered gospel-obedience beyond all low expectations.
1. Born in Sin
First, sin. Every child is born with the corruption and guilt of Adam’s sin. “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me” (Psalms 51:5). That was David’s cry after his adultery with Bathsheba. He accepted responsibility, but he traced his corruption all the way back to conception and birth.
So it is with every child from Adam. And even after God started over, so to speak, after the flood. God said to Noah that he would not bring another flood like that, but it was not because the heart of man was now cured. Instead he said, “For the intention of man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Genesis 8:21). Nothing had changed in the human heart. Not to this day.
So it became a proverb: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child” (Proverbs 22:15). That is the first thing we need to know about all of our children. They are sinners in need of salvation. They don’t just do bad things, they have bad natures, bad hearts. They need to be born again. That which is born of the flesh is flesh. They have all been born of the flesh. Now they need to be born of the Spirit (John 3:6).
2. In Need of the Gospel
Second, children must therefore be taught the truth about God and about Christ and about the gospel. God is the decisive teacher concerning himself, but he uses people, especially parents. “O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds” (Psalms 71:17). We pray that God would begin to teach our children from the earliest age in ways that only he knows how.
But he has told us the ordinary way that a child will come to know and trust Christ. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The discipline and instruction of the Lord is not simply moral demands followed by rewards and punishments. That would not be “of the Lord.” The Lord is the Lord who died for the child’s sins and rose again and pours out his Spirit to help us. Dad and Mom bring their children up in this gospel-saturated instruction. The grace of God in the gospel becomes the rule and the power by which a child lives. We will come back to this.
3. Born Again in Jesus
Third, a child is born again and comes to faith in Jesus as the Savior and Lord and Treasure of their lives. “You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth” (Psalms 71:5). The Psalmist says that God has been his trust, his confidence, from his youth. God gave him new life, and he saw Christ as true and precious. That may mean he never remembers a time when he did not trust the Lord.
That would certainly be true for me. My mother told me how I came to a point at age six of wanting to receive Christ as my Savior and how I prayed at her bedside on vacation in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. But I have no memory of this—or much else in my childhood for that matter. I would say with the psalmist, “You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth.” My confidence that I am born again does not rest in being able to remember the point when it happened, but in his finished work on the cross and in the relationship I have with the Lord now.
So after the reality of original sin, and then the teaching of the truth of the gospel, and then faith there comes now the forgiveness of sins.
4. Forgiven Through Faith in the Gospel
Fourth, original sin and all our sinful choices that follow from it will be forgiven through this faith that God awakens through the knowledge of the gospel. David embraces this truth in Psalm 25:7: “Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!”
This is good news at every age. We may tell our frightened eight-year-olds whose consciences are terrifying them, that the sins of their youth and their transgressions against Mommy and Daddy’s word may be forgiven. Peter says in Acts 10:43, “Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” Children must come to love this precious good news that makes them very thankful to God.
5. Given Suffering and Trials As God’s Own Children
Fifth, now that a child is born again and holding fast to Jesus as Savior and Lord and Treasure of their lives, God treats them as his own children. That means he gives them trials and afflictions to purify the heart and to make their faith strong and mature. “The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. . . . If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons” (Hebrews 12:6-8). One of the psalmists cried, “Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors; I am helpless” (Psalms 88:15).
We must teach our children a strong doctrine of suffering and affliction and how the Lord disciplines. We want to hear them say someday what the old man Samuel says to God: “I have walked before you from my youth until this day” (1 Samuel 12:2). And what Obadiah the prophet says: “I your servant have feared the Lord from my youth” (1 Kings 18:12). The Lord is loving our children in their trials. We must teach them how to understand the hard things that happen to them.
6. Brought to Biblical Maturity
Sixth—after sin, teaching the gospel, faith, forgiveness, and trials—it becomes plain therefore that in the Bible children, from the time they come to faith, are being treated by God in a way that can lead them to remarkable maturity and usefulness earlier than most of us think. Here are a few clues that this is the case.
David prays like this for his children and our children: “May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown” (Psalms 144:12). What does he mean, “May our sons already in their youth be like plants full grown”? He’s praying that the strength and fruitfulness of the more mature plant will already show itself in his sons even while they are young and the expectations for such fruitfulness is low. Should that not be our prayer all the more: “May our sons and daughters in their youth be like plants full grown”?
And the entire book of Proverbs is designed to help this early fruitfulness happen. The book begins like this: “The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel . . . to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth” (Proverbs 1:1, 4). The Bible does not believe that wisdom is only for the aged. Wisdom comes from God’s word mainly and from life-experience secondarily. Therefore, we should work and pray to help our children have wisdom and discretion.
Or consider Ecclesiastes 4:13: “Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.” Better a wise youth than a foolish king! Think of that. Here is a poor lad badly clothed, and here is a rich king in fine robes. And the Bible says that this lad may be wiser than that king. How can that be? Because wisdom comes from God through his word. That is why parenting and church curriculum should be saturated with the Scriptures, so that someday our youth will hear the folly of old unbiblical men, and not be swept away. They will be like Elihu in Job 32:6-10 when he answers Job’s friends, I am young in years, and you are aged; therefore I was timid and afraid to declare my opinion to you. I said, “Let days speak, and many years teach wisdom.” But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand. It is not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right.” (Job 32:6-10)
7. Not Settling for Low Expectations
Seventh, this brings us to the practical conclusion for young people: Don’t let the culture set low expectations for what you may accomplish for Christ. Listen to the way God and Jeremiah argue about Jeremiah’s call when he was young.
Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak.” (Jeremiah 1:6-7)
Be careful young people that you don’t postpone the burden and the blessing of fruitfulness in your life because you use the excuse, “I am only a youth.” God said to Jeremiah, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go.” There are some younger than you that you can lead, and there are some older than you that you can serve. But do not say, “I am only a youth,” as though the only thing you are good for is watching videos and playing games, as though there is no ministry for you to do.
8. Successful Parenting Is Gospel-Saturated
Finally, eighth, a closing word to parents and all who love children. We do not want to hear our children say when they are thirty what the rich young ruler said to Jesus after Jesus listed the commandments, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” Here is the great commandment keeper. Here is the compliant kid who did what he was told. He kept the commandments.
But when Jesus put him to the test and said he lacked one thing: “Sell what you have, give it to the poor, and follow me” (Mark 10:21), he couldn’t do it. He had no heart for Christ. Rule-keeping? Yes. Treasuring Jesus? No. He was dead. He had no affections for Christ. He was simply a good rule-keeper. And he said that it goes all the way back to his youth: “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” His parents said do, and he did.
The Shaping and Sustaining Power of the Gospel
Parents, successful parenting is more than compliant kids. It is gospel-saturated living and teaching. Show your children how Christ, crucified for our sins, and Christ, raised for our justification, and Christ, showing the Father’s love, and Christ, guaranteeing the Spirit’s daily help—show them how this gospel is not just something that begins the Christian life but empowers it and shapes and sustains it. Pray and love and teach your children until Christ breaks in on their hearts and becomes their Treasure.
May God give us a vision for the next generation that glorifies the gospel of Christ, and leads thousands of young people to the cross where they find forgiveness of sins, and broken-hearted humility, and Christ-exalting courage to rebel against low expectations and “do hard things.”
Monday, March 03, 2008
How to approach love for others, John Piper style...
This is from a recent John Piper sermon from the book of 1st John...
1 John 5:1-5
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. 2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
One of my aims today is to show that our ability to love others imperfectly is based on our assurance that in Christ we already love them perfectly. In other words, I want you to see for yourselves that, even when you fail to love as you ought, Christ’s perfection stands before God in place of that failure. And I want you to see that faith in Christ, not love for people, is the way you enjoy that union with Christ. Therefore, faith must come first and be the root of love and be different from love. Otherwise, love will be destroyed.
If you don’t come at love this way, your failures will probably overwhelm you with guilt and hopelessness. If that happens, you will give way either to hardworking legalism or fatalistic immorality.
If you don’t love God, you can’t do anybody any ultimate good. You can feed them and clothe them and house them and keep them comfortable while they perish. But in God’s mind that is not what love is. Love does feed and clothe and house—and keeps the commandments which would include helping others know and love God in Christ. But if you don’t love God, you can’t do that. So if you don’t love God, you can’t love people in the way that counts for eternity.
So we have our answer: When John says, “This is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome,” he mainly means the commandments summed up in loving other people, especially believers. So we could paraphrase verse 3 like this: “This is the love of God, that we love others, especially his children and that this life of sacrificial Christ-like love is not burdensome. It’s what we most deeply desire to do as an expression of our love for the Father.”
The main reason we don’t love God and find it burdensome to love people is that our cravings are for the things of the world. They may be good things. They may be bad things. They may be material things. They may be relational. Whatever their form, they are not God. And when we crave them above God, they are idols. They replace love for God and love for people. That’s the universal problem of the world. What’s the solution?
John’s answer is in 1 John 5:3-4. He says in verse 4 that the reason loving God and loving people is not burdensome (verse 3) is that we have been born again and this new birth conquers the world: “Everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world.” Now we can see what that means. It means that the new birth severs the root of those cravings for the world. Overcoming the world means that the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride in possessions don’t rule us anymore. Their power is broken.
I think that is a deadly mistake. I’ll try to say why. Faith in Christ and love for people are inseparable. But they are not indistinguishable. They are so inseparable that John can sum up all God’s demands in these two: faith and love. First John 3:23: “This is his commandment [singular], that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.” That is the summary of all the tests of life in this book: Believe on Jesus and love each other.
But the order of causality is crucial. The reason it’s crucial is this: There is going to come a day when you do not love as you ought. What will you do if your heart condemns you because you know that love is a sign of the new birth? How will you fight the fight for assurance at that time?
Here is one crucial way to fight for your hope at that moment, and it depends on a clear distinction between faith in Christ and love for people: Go to 1 John 2:1 and read, “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin [that is, fails to love others as you ought], we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” John assumes that even when you fail—even when you sin, when you do not love as you ought—you have an advocate before God. And this advocate is called “the righteous.” That is, he is perfect. (See Romans 8:33-34.)
Even if you have sinned, he has never sinned. Even if you have failed to love as you ought, he has never failed to love as he ought. And this one stands before God and advocates for you—not against you, but for you. Precisely because you have failed. “But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate . . . the righteous one.”
The emphasis falls on his righteousness—his sinlessness. His perfectly doing what we have failed to do. The reason this works for us is that faith is what receives him. And when faith receives him he is everything that we need before God. He is our righteousness and our perfection and our perfect love. This is the bottom of our hope before a holy God.
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